Separation Anxiety in Children

You want your children to be bonded to you. Some say that this happens automatically, but in some children it does not. This leads to lifelong problems for that child. Don't worry too much, because as long as you see to their needs and show them love and affection, the bonding cycle should be complete and whole. All bonded children have trouble being away from mom and dad. Separation anxiety in children can happen at any time and will vary in severity from child to child. Make sure you can do all that you can ease their fears when this comes up.

Most children have problems when they are about a year and a half old. Separation anxiety in children at this age is pretty common and is also very heartbreaking. At this age children are not sure that you are going to come back. They are not sure why you are leaving, and some children think that something that they cannot see does not exist any longer. They are old enough to know you are mom and when you leave, they do not know you are coming back. This makes it hard for them to let you go.

The first signs of separation anxiety in children is when your child starts to cling to you when another adult besides mom and dad comes near them. They are showing stress around strangers, which is good, long with the first signs of separation anxiety. If you are taking them to daycare or a babysitter, they may suddenly want you to stay when they may not have had a problem in the past. As bad as you feel when you have to leave them when they are in this state, know that they are always fine within a few minutes.

When separation anxiety in children gets bad, there are a few things that you should do. Be sure to tell your spouse the same things so that they can also do these things before they drop them off somewhere. One thing is to never sneak out on your child. Always tell them goodbye, offer affection, and then tell them that you will be back to get them later. Some parents don't do this because they don't want to see them cry, but they end up in much worse shape if you sneak out. They will think you might disappear without warning at any time.

Older children, like toddlers and kindergarteners can have some anxiety also. This is not as bad, and because they are older, they will understand things better. When separation anxiety in children happens at these ages, they can understand that you will be back, not that this makes it any easier to see you go. Tell them where you are going, when you are going to be back, and what you will do together once you have returned to get them. This often helps them feel more secure. Once in a while, there may be a day when it overtakes them so go ahead and go pick them up. This will show them they really do have nothing to fear.